SmackDown! or, A Work in Progress...

Smack-down time!

Ok, so for those of you who don't know me well, you should know that generally I am very good at fixing things. This includes cars, stereos, computers, yard machines, nuclear missiles. Yup, done 'em all. And well. And I enjoy doing all the above.

Until tonight.

Today was when God made it obvious that  he had an alternate universe coming for me.  Now, in general, I've always believed that God's plans are good, and have always been willing to sign on, fully commit, cheerlead, etc. But, now I'm not so sure. I mean, this stuff has HURT, at the core of my man-ness.

Uh oh....

It started months ago, with a yard tractor. Every time I'd fix one thing, something else would fail. Belts (awful long, hidden ones), fuses, battery, choke, tires, blades, carburetor. The latest item was the spindle mount that the cutting blades are mounted to. Tried to remove the blade to sharpen it, and snapped the very thick steel shaft. Well, the part cost > $50, so it took me a while to decide to order it. Then it came, and so I took off the old one. And three of the four mounting bolts snapped clean off. Which is no huge deal except that the new part didn't come with new bolts, so the garage is once again full of dis-assembled tractor.

Much like mine

Next is the chain saw. I've been doing a lot of heavy cutting this year, and while dropping a very large branch one of the anti-vibration springs snapped - the first ever. A small part, but who ever breaks one? So I ordered it, and two weeks later got around to fixing it. But, after finally figuring out how 6 different little doo-dads all snap together, without sending any of them spronging across the yard, I figured I'd take the like-new saw out for a shakedown. And, discovered that the chain brake (which keeps the chain from cutting your leg off at the wrong time) was completely shot. And, macho though I may be, this is one glitch that you don't want to overlook. Of course, I only discovered this <after> I spent 6 hours digging out a large stump so I could cut it up. Which stump and which dirt pile is still sitting out in our front yard. The chain brake assembly only cost $18 plus $6 shipping, and will probably arrive the day we leave on our big road trip - to help my Mom-in-law clean up her yard, cut trees, etc. Ya think it'd be nice to have that saw?

Then there was my really nice neighbors loaner stuff. I mean, who knew he liked to use his parking brake? Not me when I borrowed his truck to move a huge pile of wood. No one could figure out what that loud screeching/clunking sound was. And the really high ladder he let me use - who knew the very large branch I was cutting down would kick back and bend the ladder? And, it kicked back like a laser beam, heading straight for the base of the ladder, despite fairly serious precautions like ropes, etc.

<BTW, if anyone has a 32' ladder they are getting rid of, please call me ASAP>

You probably don't want to hear about the dishwasher, the Volvo station wagon, or the carpet vac.

 Which, BTW, is really useful when the dog decides to protest our sleeping in by crapping everywhere. And I do mean everywhere. Like, have you ever had to take a door off its hinges because the crap got spread when you opened it? But of course, the vac had broken down a few weeks back, and silly me, I procrastinated ordering parts and fixing the beast. But when the dog did it's thing, I suddenly got highly motivated to fix that carpet vac. But, do you know that when you order new parts, they don't send any instructions? And, that most everything built in the last five years is full of little plastic parts that strongly resist going back together? And that if you force them together, something else will break, and then you have to take it all apart - again? And that carpet vacs are also full of dozens of hoses going everywhere, and that if you forget to connect just one, you are screwed?

Well, I finally figured out that God is doing all of this to really do a job/Job on me. While I'm out of work, he's cleaning house, getting rid of years of accumulated self-confidence,  burnishing/refining me for my next thing.
Which, given my somewhat excessive self-confidence, is probably just what I need. But, that doesn't make it one iota easier to take.

The way I figure it, when he gets done with me, he's going to get me a job too!

Oh, I finally finished vacuuming the dog crap about an hour ago, after re-assembling the carpet vac, which took @ 8 hours. The bad new is that I had to use a lot of duct tape, and there's two extra screws left over.

Can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring!

So Who's Shouting at Whom?

As I looked out on the front yard this morning, It seemed like we had been transported three months back to December. My plans for yard work, and possibly a family hike in the Blue Ridge suddenly seemed ridiculous.
Clearly, somebody else was running the show.

But, I had little time to contemplate:  I needed to get to church for the early service, where I would be ringing bells in the handbell choir. And, while I drove like a banshee, many other people were running late. So, our practice runs of  "Shout To The Lord"  sounded more like wind chimes in a Crackerbarrel store. Fortunately, most everyone did show, and the final practice run did sound like actual music. Whew!

Time to vacate the hall to allow the younger ringers to practice their piece. So, we grab our music binders, and head back to the music office to wait and gather before the service. And, after a while, they join us, we pray to dedicate the service, and then file back out to the hall. The younger group is ringing immediately, so we were in a bit of a stampede getting back to the hall. As the older choir is getting seated, one of our number (who rings right next to me), can't find her binder ---  that she had carefully set down on the bench not ten minutes before. As the service starts, we all start looking around frantically, under the benches, behind the seats, on the floor.   Nada - no binder. Which is bad, because the music is fairly complicated, and everyone's binder is customized, marked in a particular way, and, well; no binder, no music! And there are ten of us, and each person has to be ringing, or all of the beautiful and complex notes start to sound sound like random wind chimes.

Now, Allison is a very calm person and a very talented musician, who plays multiple instruments, sings, and is really impressive. But I swear, as we got within a couple of minutes of playing time, her eyes started to get that deer-in-the-headlights look, and was that sweat glistening on her forehead? And then, not sixty seconds before we went up to play, someone spies a lone binder across the aisle - it was hers! Saved - but just barely. I knew Allison was rattled.

Then there's our cue, we're up to the tables, setting up our binders, arranging our bells. As I finish, I glance up, and am completely surprised to see our director hurriedly raise her hand (bells up) and immediately start the count. Uh oh, because, to my left, Allison was still looking down, setting up her binder! But, the director is counting, so, knowing there's only one measure before we play, I lift my first bell, hurrying for the first note.
then the the second, and third -  before I notice that the director is still holding up her other hand.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

I've just committed the ultimate bell playing sin, which is to start too early, before the rest of the choir. Well, almost, as two other ringers played right along with me. Now, for some reason, the director, who for the last five dozen rehearsals had used a single-measure run up, had now decided to use two measures. That's eight beats, not four. Was I red faced? You bet. Did we keep playing - yes we did. Did it somehow turn out OK - YES!. Allison somehow caught up, we all got on the same note, and, by the end of the piece, it sounded like actual music. Quite good even!

And, as we headed out afterwards, Allison turned to me and said "That was interesting." Which was a considerable understatement, but allowed me to share with her that maybe God had some other agenda this morning. Like maybe our "Shout to The Lord" was really more of him shouting to us...

And As I arrived at home, and saw the snow in our yard, even on the cherry blossoms, it struck me that God can and will find a way to shake things up. This is somehow never on our timetable, but is usually just what we need.

And It's a beautiful thing!

Miracle #5: Family Expansion Plan, in Motion

So, rather deliciously, what started as a completely miserable weekend went Platinum on Sunday, when Lindsay called with the wonderful news - "I'm engaged!"

Now, I know this is mostly girl stuff, but, there's some Dad content here too. Lindsay was the first little munchkin that Lisa put in my arms way back when I became a powdered dad. This was @20 years ago, but it still seems like yesterday. Then it was hurling the Frisbee at full force (no compromises for this little girl) on the beach in California (Seacliff State Beach, if you must know). And it was Lindsay who was had a skinned knee the first time she rode a bicycle (me running alongside), getting the stern mantra "We're rough, we're tough, we're a Navy family!".  And throwing up driving to the first day of High school - and the second ---- And so many more great times. So, even though she is 24, it still seems like I'm loosing my little Lin....

Here is the first picture I remember taking of Lin, in the San Francisco Botanical Gardens. See what I mean?

Fortunately, Noah is truly awesome guy, and will have the best shot of anyone I know at keeping Lin happy, safe, and sane. I've had the pleasure of getting to know him more closely over the past few months, and he is thoughtful, caring, sharp, and has a wicked sense of humor. Plus he plays cards. Unfortunately, he plays them better than I do; so, sometime in November I'll likely be eclipsed as the trickiest cardsharp in the family. Oh - I mean, after Faye, who, when she gets mad (or wants to have fun), runs me around completely ragged. So I go from #2 to #3. Oh, except for Lisa, who I am married to, and so, yeah, she is better too ;-)

Well, anyways, this is somewhat of a mixed bag for a dad. But, here's the kicker - the event is to be on a beach, where we can play beach volleyball AND throw a Frisbee - WOOHOO - WAY TO GO TEAM BEACH!

Oh, and let's get some sailing set up too, OK guys?

1st Post - exactly why am I blogging?

I've been thinking about blogging for more than five years, but have always thought that I had little to share. And, there's so much stuff out there on the web - who needs more from me?

But, this last week has been a game-changer for me. I lost my job, which really should be completely awful. But then had the most amazing weekend ever, complete with spiritual awakening, and a very different perspective on life, all in 3 days. Net result, a real WOW...

So, because this is almost completely a God thing, I believe it will be a real and valuable exercise to share these and the inevitable continuing blessings, simply because they are amazing. And, worth writing down as a record, if only to me - as I may be the only reader ;-)

> 1st Miracle: 

• Getting downsized last Friday!

Yup, a truly awful event, and not one I would have chosen for myself. And sealed with the life-affirming words "This is just business." (seriously). No matter that I'd been there, faithfully driving hard for five years, doing great things, making contributions outside the box, pushing revenue. Suddenly, their business was not my business.
So, having packed my boxes, driven home, stared at the ceiling for awhile, it hit me:

I'm so relieved to be out of there!

Stifled, taken for granted, ignored, underutilized, overutilized, just plain stale - well, you get the picture. Crazy thing is, due to the good money, great memories, and some very good people, and the very weak economy, this is NOT something I would have done myself. For a while. Probably a great while. I mean, who quits their job when it's more or less OK? And, oh, did I mention that I'm loyal - really loyal.     So, I'd likely be the very last one off a sinking ship, turning out the lights as I go.

I'm not a complete fool, so I know the money is going to be a bear, as in @%$%R&(*&*^*^&()*&. And I will truly miss some very good people. But my office was way too small, I could barely get out of my chair, and pacing while on the phone was not an option. (pacing while on the phone or brainstorming is what I do). And more importantly, there was no way to grow, as the company has been steadily downsizing and shedding products for the past 3 years.

> 2nd Miracle:

• My wife and I are best friends again!

I means this in all the most important ways. The instant I told Lisa about it (miracle #1 above, not exactly a wonderful/positive thing to her at the time), she knew exactly what I needed, and what WE needed. And, as each miracle unfolded, she just got it, right from the get-go. So cool. So meant to be! So, we've been praying, working, cooking, cleaning, folding together, and it feels so perfectly right. And i can't wait for tomorrow to do more.
How many 17 year couples can say that with a straight face?

> 3rd Miracle:

• My family!

-My (younger) kids cried and were a bit freaked out by Miracle #1 at first, but after we (thats Lisa and me) explained how Miracles come after challenges, they took an hour or to to make sure, then just went with it. Let me just say it here; I have the BEST kids - period.
-My (older) kids also cried and were a bit freaked out by Miracle #1 at first, but after we explained how Miracles come after challenges, they took some time to make sure, then just went with it. Let me just say it here; I have the BEST kids - younger and older - period.
- And all my family has been wonderful. Supportive, helpful, just awesome. I can't tell you how great this is, to be wrapped in a blanket of real love, just when you're down. I'm telling you, you can't pay for this...

> 4rth Miracle:

• Realizing God is doing this as an incredible gift!

So, I got asked to help out with a church skit to be performed at both services this last Sunday. For various reasons, the first and only practice was Saturday, and my role was the incredibly successful businessman who is going out to conquer the world. Interesting.
Needless to say, I didn't tell anyone that I had just lost my job. You think it would have put a damper on the practice? You bet. But it didn't, cuz I didn't. And the moral of the skit was (I'm not kidding):
How God has greater things for us to do than we know, and he will show us if we just listen.

   So as we do the skit on Sunday, I'm the last act, and St Peter is telling me in person, how he has much greater things in store for me. I'm telling you, the guy who played St. Peter was utterly convincing, as if it were completely personal, and he was who he was, and I was who I was. Not a skit, but real.

Then the choir sings, and yes, I'm in the choir. The song is "One Step He Leads" (and One Step I'll Follow).
Now, I'd practiced the song probably a dozen times before, but I never got the words as a message until, up on the stage, I'm singing, and the words leaped off the page into my heart. HE was singing to me! Now the song might have been sung completely off tune and out of kilter, perhaps even in old baylonian. But, to me, it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard. Every word was perfect, right on, absolutely appropriate for where I was, right at that moment.
It might seem like an anticlimax to say that the rest of the service, every word from the pastor, was addressed to me personally, even though no one there knew I had just lost my job.

I'm not making this up - this all happened!

And so it was: a total slam-dunk, Christ's resounding chorus of support, affirmation, and guidance:


Trust in me and you will be just where I want you.


Well, faithful reader, if you are indeed there, I will not keep you any longer on this post. But, it is my sincere prayer that you too will find comfort in this, my witness of His great kindness and love. Because, in this time when I should be despondent, angry, and fearful, I am exactly the opposite. Thanks be to God!

And, more Miracles to come - guaranteed. Stay tuned!